


Homophobic Management

by TheJules28



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: I made a bot write me a larry screenplay, M/M, i cried, plottwist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:20:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21891115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJules28/pseuds/TheJules28
Summary: What happens when you leave me alone on a Saturday night?I get bored.And what does a normal human being do when they're bored?Exactly.You search for a random plot generator and force it to write a screenplay about Larry.I promise, you won't regret reading this.P.S.: I cried.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Homophobic Management

**Author's Note:**

  * For [every larrie in this world](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=every+larrie+in+this+world).



INT. STAGE - AFTERNOON

Tiny singer, songwriter, actor, footie star, brother LOUIS TOMLINSON is arguing with funny pop star HARRY STYLES. LOUIS tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.

LOUIS  
Please Harry, don't leave me.

HARRY  
I'm sorry Louis, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

LOUIS  
I am such a person!

HARRY frowns.

HARRY  
I'm sorry, Louis. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

HARRY leaves.

LOUIS sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, adorable Singer NIALL HORAN barges in looking flustered.

LOUIS  
Oi oii, Niall! Is everything okay?

NIALL  
I'm afraid not.

LOUIS  
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

NIALL  
It's ... a manager ... I saw an evil manager unlarrie a bunch of larries!

LOUIS  
Defenseless larries?

NIALL  
Yes, defenseless larries!

LOUIS  
Bloomin' heck, Niall! We've got to do something.

NIALL  
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

LOUIS  
You can start by telling me where this happened.

NIALL  
I was...

NIALL fans himself and begins to wheeze.

LOUIS  
Focus Niall, focus! Where did it happen?

NIALL  
Eroda! That's right - Eroda!

LOUIS springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

LOUIS rushes along the street, followed by NIALL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

EXT. ERODA - SHORTLY AFTER

SIMON COWELL a homophobic manager terrorises two larries.

LOUIS, closely followed by NIALL, rushes towards SIMON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

NIALL  
What is is? What's the matter?

LOUIS  
That's not just any old manager, that's Simon Cowell!

NIALL  
Who's Simon Cowell?

LOUIS  
Who's Simon Cowell? Who's Simon Cowell? Only the most homophobic manager in the universe!

NIALL  
Blinkin' knickers, Louis! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most homophobic manager in the universe!

LOUIS  
You can say that again.

NIALL  
Blinkin' knickers, Louis! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most homophobic manager in the universe!

LOUIS  
I'm going to need guitar, lots of guitar.

Simon turns and sees Louis and Niall. He grins an evil grin.

SIMON  
Louis Tomlinson, we meet again.

NIALL  
You've met?

LOUIS  
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young LOUIS is sitting in a park listening to some OneDirection music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees SIMON. He takes off his headphones.

SIMON  
Would you like some coco pops?

LOUIS's eyes light up, but then he studies SIMON more closely, and looks uneasy.

LOUIS  
I don't know, you look kind of homophobic.

SIMON  
Me? No. I'm not homophobic. I'm the least homophobic manager in the world.

LOUIS  
Wait, you're a manager?

LOUIS runs away, screaming.

EXT. ERODA - PRESENT DAY

SIMON  
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

NIALL  
(To LOUIS) You ran away?

LOUIS  
(To NIALL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

LOUIS turns to SIMON.

LOUIS  
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

LOUIS runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

LOUIS  
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with a guitar.

SIMON  
I'm not scared of you.

LOUIS  
You should be.

*dramatic music, camera zooms in on SIMON'S shocked face*

INT. CLOSET - LATER THAT DAY

LOUIS and NIALL walk around searching for something.

LOUIS  
I feel sure I left my guitar somewhere around here.

NIALL  
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep a deadly guitar.

LOUIS  
You know nothing, Niall Horan.

NIALL  
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think it's here.

Suddenly, SIMON appears, holding a pair of guitars.

SIMON  
Looking for something?

NIALL  
Crikey, Louis, he's got your guitar.

LOUIS  
Tell me something I don't already know!

NIALL  
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

LOUIS  
I know that already!

NIALL  
I wore fake glasses because I thought it made me look cool.

SIMON  
(appalled) Mate!

While SIMON is looking at NIALL with disgust, LOUIS lunges forward and grabs his deadly guitar. He wields it, triumphantly.

LOUIS  
Prepare to die, you homophobic broccoli!

SIMON  
No please! All I did was unlarrie a bunch of larries!

HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.

LOUIS  
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those larries were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Louis Tomlinson defender of innocent larries.

SIMON  
Don't hurt me! Please!

LOUIS  
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these guitar on you right away!

SIMON  
Because Louis, I am your father.

LOUIS looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

LOUIS  
No you're not!

SIMON  
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

SIMON tries to grab the guitar but LOUIS dodges out of the way.

LOUIS  
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, SIMON slumps to the ground.

NIALL  
Did he just faint?

LOUIS  
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly guitar.

LOUIS crouches over SIMON's body.

NIALL  
Be careful, Louis. It could be a trick.

LOUIS  
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Simon Cowell is dead!

LOUIS  
What?

LOUIS  
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death by calling him daddy.

NIALL claps his hands.

NIALL  
So your guitar did save the day, after all.

HARRY steps forward.

HARRY  
Is it true? Did you kill the homophobic manager?

LOUIS  
Harry how long have you been...?

HARRY puts his arm around LOUIS.

HARRY  
Long enough.

LOUIS  
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Simon Cowell.

HARRY  
Then the larries are safe?

LOUIS  
It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable larries enter, looking relived.

HARRY  
You are their hero.

The larries bow to LOUIS. (Author: as they should)

LOUIS  
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Simon Cowell will never unlarrie larries ever again, is enough for me.

HARRY  
You are humble as well as brave!

One of the larries passes LOUIS a lovely ring

HARRY  
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

LOUIS  
I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

LOUIS  
Well, if you insist.

LOUIS takes the ring.

LOUIS  
Thank you.

The larries bow their heads once more, and leave.

LOUIS turns to HARRY.

LOUIS  
Does this mean you want me back?

HARRY  
Oh, Louis, of course I want you back!

LOUIS smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

LOUIS  
Well you can't have me.

HARRY  
WHAT? (Author: WHAT??)

LOUIS  
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a manager to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

HARRY  
But...

LOUIS  
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Niall.

NIALL grins.

HARRY  
But...

NIALL  
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

HARRY  
Louis?

LOUIS  
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddleshoo.

HARRY leaves.

NIALL turns to LOUIS.

NIALL  
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

LOUIS  
Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly NIALL stops.

NIALL  
When I said I wore fake glasses because I thought it made me look cool, you know I was just trying to distract the management don't you?

THE END

I. AM. IN. TEARS.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed this weird story.
> 
> yes, the plottwist suprised me too.  
> feel free to comment
> 
> all the love, xx Jay
> 
> Things I fed the bot:  
> Names, Guitar, Broccoli, Jobs, Places


End file.
